Natasha Taheem on creating safe spaces, finding your people, and drawing your way to a happier future
The best way I can describe Natasha Taheem is: she is sunshine personified. Natasha radiates joy, and that’s why I knew I wanted to befriend her from the moment we met. 18 months, a few drawing sessions and several glasses of wine later, we are now good friends.
Like me, Natasha wears many hats. She is a Birmingham-based illustrator, artist, and ceramicist. She also hosts still life and printing workshops and is the founder of Queer Mehndi Nights, a monthly henna social for South Asian queer people.
My favourite thing about Natasha’s creative practice is the way she always leads with her identity. Her experience as a British South Asian lesbian woman is woven into everything she creates, whether that is a delicate drawing or a safe space.
Natasha and I love discussing our experiences as multi-disciplinary creatives and proudly queer human beings over a glass of something cold. We met up on a sunny evening in the park (just down the hill from where I interviewed Rosa Simonet a few months prior) to share a bottle of white wine and have a catch-up…
Hi Natasha! Let’s start by talking about one of our favourite topics - queer friendship. Why do you think it is so important to have queer friends?
It is really important to have friends who see all of you. In life, there are so many expectations put upon us. As a South Asian woman, there are so many rules and regulations on how to be a “good Indian girl”. As queer people, we have already broken one rule so we are open to unpicking all the other ones. It feels so refreshing, comfortable, and freeing.
Most of the people I surround myself with now are queer and I can really feel it when I go into a straight space. Sometimes I will find myself in a straight-straight-straight room celebrating a straight-straight-staight occassion and I just miss my queer chosen familiy so much. Queer friendship is so important to me, and I feel it so much in those moments.
Tell me about the Queer Mehndi Nights you run. What inspired you to start them?
I started Queer Mehndi Nights because I was so f*cking lonely. I felt like I was the only queer brown person in Birmingham - but I knew statistically that couldn’t be true. I am very, very lucky that I have a lot of queer friends I made while I was at university (art school is full of queer people) but none of them had overlapping experiences with me as a South Asian so I set off on a mission to meet some people who did.
“I started Queer Mehndi Nights because I was so f*cking lonely. I felt like I was the only queer brown person in Birmingham.”
- Natasha Taheem
When I am having an emotionally hard time or trying to work through something, I always draw. I’ll draw my dream scenario; it helps me picture a better life for myself. There is this one drawing I did, and it’s of me in my dressing gown, sitting cross-legged on my favourite bamboo chair at home, surrounded by friends. I have a glass of wine in my hand and I’m smiling. I look so content and at peace in the drawing. After I drew it, I thought: how do I get to that place? I need to find my people.
The first Queer Mehndi Night took place last summer. I made loads of flyers and put them all around Birmingham, and made a TikTok. I was so excited when people actually came along. I have never felt so immediately understood in a room. We all come from different families and cultures within South Asia, but there is a mutual understanding from the outset.
Sometimes support groups for queer South Asians can be quite soggy. People within our community have had really difficult experiences and have strained relationships with their families, so these spaces can feel heavy. I wanted the space I created to be light and fun. I didn’t want to sugar-coat anything, but I did want to create somewhere people could relax and connect. A joyous monthly ritual - that’s what I have started.
Have you learnt anything while hosting the Queer Mehndi Nights?
People say that you can never create a truly safe space because a safe space means different things to different people. For some people, there are barriers to even getting inside the front door. I had one person who was outside for half the first session, too nervous to come in.
I thought so long and hard before the first Queer Mehndi Night, nothing was by mistake. I wanted the venue to be queer-friendly or queer / South Asian owned or both; I wanted it be be private and not visible to the public from street level; I wanted it be be sober or at least have a soft drinks menu that was more than just a token tea. You can’t get everything right, but doing all of that forward-thinking has paid off.
What is the best thing about hosting these socials?
Some people who attend Queer Mehndi Nights have never come into a queer space before. The best part is being able to offer a space that people feel is comfortable enough to come back to. People will come in feeling nervous and leave being like: I didn’t realise there were so many queer brown people. Where have you all been hiding? There are so many of us!
Has running the mehndi nights influenced your art?
Outside In and The New Art Gallery Warsall recently commissioned me to draw a big scene inspired by the Queer Mehndi Nights. It’s a full circle moment - from drawing to manifest something, to it actually happening. It’s a celebration of everything I dreamed Queer Mehndi Nights could be and everything they really have become.
Mental health is another of our favourite topics to talk about. What is your favourite self-care habit?
My best self-care tip is: give yourself adequate space to live your most authentic life, whatever that looks like. It will do wonders for your mental health.
Again, drawing your way through your thoughts. That’s always been something I have done. If I am in a really crap space, I can draw myself a better future. I look back at my old mind maps and drawings, and I’m like: it’s all happened, babes. You did it!
And an Everything Shower - that’s a bit of a TikTok girlie one. Everything from the toppest hair on your head to the bottom of your toes, scrubbed, polished, and showered. Candles are lit, a podcast is playing, all the products you never use are used, your hair is double-shampooed, and nothing is left untouched. You get out and you oil and moisturise all over (while drinking a glass of wine, if you like). And then nothing feels better than getting into clean bedding. You’re squeaky clean, the sheets are fresh, tomorrow is a new day, and it’s all going to be okay. It’s about making rituals out of everyday moments.
“If I am in a really crap space, I can draw myself a better future.”
- Natasha Taheem
Finally, tell me about some queer stories you love…
I came into my queerness a little later in life, and I felt like I had a lot of catching up to do. Queer stories helped me experience a slice of queer culture.
My friend introduced me to It’s A Sin. After watching it, I couldn’t beleive I had come so far into my adult life without knowing more about this part of queer history. It’s so beautifully told and harrowing. A while ago, we hit a moment where there were a lot of good lesbian films coming out, too. One of them was Love Lies Bleeding. I’m not a film critic, but my eyes were glued to the screen. I was like: Oh yes, this is cinema!
Gillian Anderson has written a book called Want, which I am currently listening to as an audiobook. It’s a cross-section of women from all different cultures, ages, backgrounds, countries, and salary ranges sharing their sexual fantasies. I assumed that it was going to be quite straight but she puts emphasis on there being many sexualities and genders, and the first few stories are all queer. As a queer person, you can become used to being the token afterthought but this doesn’t feel that way. I also love the raw honesty of the book. I’m so glad that these women have come to a conclusion about what they want, and they are allowing themselves to want it.
Thank you so much for chatting with me, Natasha! I am constantly inspired by the creativity, positivity and queerness you put out into the world, and always excited to see what you do next.
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